Vote for Jesus 2012!

One of the most detrimental developments in American Christianity has been the emergence of the association of a specific belief system with a specific political party.  Christians have not consistently played well with others.  In some cases we have reached out to tragedy-stricken people and restored them, giving them another chance to survive with dignity.  In the worst cases, we have led the charge for book burnings, preserved racial stereotypes, and abused others in the name of maintaining power.  I think you can easily argue that the latter situation clearly is indicative of someone claiming Christianity as a social status, while not embracing the teachings of Christ (to love your neighbor).  But still, the impression exists that we bring both life and death, both healing and judgment.  We embrace political action that endorses the sanctity of some life and policies that reject others.

The two-party system in America has limited innovation and encouraged defensive political posturing.  Rarely are ideas new, factual, and all too often are reeling from a spin.  The story is told (by the media, the politicians, their staff, etc.) that there is only one source to our problem and only one answer.  Further, it is spun in such a way that we are led to believe that our communities are on the verge of falling into anarchy or poverty if the problem is not addressed.

 In most cases we are given such lobotomized versions of the facts, that the generally uneducated and self-interested public assume what they are told is right, true, and actionable.  We have formed alignments around buzz words and soundbites.  We mentally and emotionally cut off the opinions of our neighbors if they use a vocabulary that we have recognized as that of the enemy.  We mentally consent that all of _______ is bad and all of _______ is good.  Rarely does life play out that way.   In the name of recognizing the threat of the enemy, we liberally apply labels to diagnosis any thinking that does not conform to that of our team.

In the name of influencing the system from the top, many religious leaders attempted to get their interests heard by appealing to whichever party would embrace their special interests.  Hot button issues like gay marriage, abortion, and illegal immigration became the polarizing issues.  Simply put, it was easier for the masses to embrace a few issues and claim that they are voting with their faith rather than evaluate the breadth of a faith that encompasses the fullness of love and the magnificence of creation.  Rather, a few factoids on why X is the party of those that love babies and why Y is the party of  those that eat babies is sufficient for most.

By catering to the partisan spin, you continue to empower the polarization of problems and solutions.  By training your heart to react in fear, hatred, and disdain to those with different opinions, beliefs, or vocabulary, you further division and endorse abuse.  

Far too often ignorant, lazy Christians throughout history have embraced the spin from the top, and only the passage of time has revealed the rampant abuses allowed by their endorsement through cowardice.  I am not calling for a revolution, but rather love for the sake of peace, and education for the sake of understanding.  Our communities cannot and will not be rebuilt when we are willing to endorse policies that fundamentally enforce suffering and endorse only scraps of our faith at the expense of cutting off love.

I would recommend one of two choices.  Either:

1)  Turn off all news, pray, meditate, and take a walk around your community.  Vote from a place of peace and not fear.  If you do not have the desire or resources to educate yourself, then at least guard your motivations and make a decision that is motivated from peace and security.

or 

2) Invest in loving your neighbors by educating yourself from multiple sources.  Train yourself to be as shrewd as a serpent, but guard your heart to remain your innocence and hope.  Then from a place of seeing a broad picture, pray, meditate, and find peace in God.  Vote for whomever you believe will maintain peace in the midst of diverse and trying times.  Vote for policies that long-term will bring restoration and hope.  Guard yourself from voting for the policies of the moment that are particularly framed in fear, threats, and intimidation.

Further, more than anything, I would encourage Christians around America to get off their ass and love their neighbor (whether or not you vote).  There is no great battle that will ever be won by attempting to legislate your specific interpretation of a moral code while those that live around you see nothing but judgment and a lack of relevance.  Influence is not to be stolen from the spotlight, but rather won as you demonstrate that your love is greater than your fear in practical, intelligent ways.  

If we really want to change in 2012, this will not be accomplished by catering to the same problems and answers we have been provided for the past decades (albeit in different fashions and with different spokespeople).  Change will not come by meditating on fear of all we might lose if we don’t vote to protect what we hold dear.  If we really want something different in 2012, we need to reorient our own priorities, carve out time, finances, and mental/emotional/social resources to give our lives to represent the love of Christ, a belief in redemption, and a hope that is not threatened by the political spin.  We need to invest more energy in intentionally loving others as we have been loved by our chief official, our King.  We have been forgiven much, and we should overflow with gratitude to such an extent that in the midst of a crisis, others look at us and long to understand the security we have found that is not tied to each  new passing breeze of policy or political spin.

This year I would ask you to participate in the political process differently.  When you find yourselves caught up in a conversation with co-workers that have bit the baited hook of the recent spin, stand for peace, hope, and love in their midst.  Listen deeper than what they have been told is threatening them to hear what it is they love.  However you vote politically, you may find that what you hold dear, they also hold dear.  Let us make the conversation about hope, community, cooperation, and love that will not quit despite what this next administration looks like.  We will not win by putting our dream team in office.  Let me say that again.  We will not win by taking over government or dissolving it.  We will win when we make love our Lord and impeach the fear that has reigned over our minds and impeded our love for our neighbors.

 

Rules for relationships

As we welcome our second little girl, I was reflecting on the past few years and how our relationship has changed.  I feel like we have grown significantly, not necessarily that we are clearly better than where we were, but that we have grown well together.  We are no longer the lovesick dating couple we once were, or the newlywed couple that felt the need to talk about our relationship several times a day.  We have grown into a team that seems to be somewhat successfully loving and raising a family together, and still finds rest and joy in one another in the midst of it.

With that said, I thought it might be helpful to share some of the best things we did or didn’t do early on.  This is not meant to be a perfect list, but rather, this is what worked for us and maybe it will work for you too.  Most of these things never come up anymore because we have grown past the need for them.  I am not really arranging them in any specific order, just as I think of them.   Anyway, enjoy and I wish for you success in growing in your love with someone.

1.  No games.  Simply put, games that dare the other person to respond to you in a specific way are manipulative and breakdown communication.  They send the message that you are not secure enough about your own hangups to talk about them, but rather are more willing to toy with someone else in the name of protecting your fears than you are to sacrifice your sense of security to love the other person well.  If you are serious about a healthy relationship, communicate intentionally whenever you have the courage to talk about your fears, wants, or hangups.

2.  Keep no score.  I know some couples work really well always keeping a list of who picked the restaurant last or who endured the recent romantic comedy movie.  Not us.  I think relationships work best when both people walk into it choosing to give because the relationship is valuable to them.   We work best when we are both willing to give when we see the other person needs help or some cheering up.

3.  Treat the relationship like a third party.  When you are pissed off at your significant other, you can make decisions that are for the good of the relationship.  In the same way, you can check your decisions before you make them by asking, “Will this be good for the relationship?”  By framing your relationship this way, it allows you to be objective when your feelings tell you otherwise.

4.  Place a statute of limitations on bringing up offenses.  Pick a period of time 3 to 7 days (not more than a week) where you agree that you will bring up something the other person did that offended or hurt you that they were seemingly unaware of.  If you do not bring it up in that time period, you have to let it go and forgive them.  It cannot be ammunition for a future argument.  If you choose to not bring it up, it is your responsibility to drop it and forgive.

5. Love is the trump card.  If you find yourself stuck in an argument, don’t agree to disagree.  Stop arguing your positions and decide that the most important outcome is loving one another, not drawing a line between your perspectives.   Some things unfold over time, and some things fade entirely.  Forcing some kind of resolution or peace treaty in a single conversation may leave you feeling like you have control over your position, but it usually also means you have placed distance between you and your loved one unnecessarily.

6.  Shoot for four good days out of seven.  Because of busyness, the human condition, our own self-centeredness, and the unpredictability of life, it is simply unreasonable to expect that the relationship will be so good that you notice it every day of the week.  If you hit four good days a week, feel good about the relationship.  You can make yourself miserable over-exaggerating each little bump in the road or boring day while not celebrating the good in the relationship.

7.  For dating couples, look for someone where you feel like you can: 

- Accept their daily flow of life (it’s not likely to change much, so if it drives you nuts now, it will drive you nuts later).  Remember you will be roommates far more of the time than lovers. 

- Respect who they are today.  If you cannot respect who a person is today, then you are likely to de-valuate their opinion in any major choices that you might make together later.

- Share 70-80% of their worldview and faith.  It may not come up when you are dating, but it will in nearly every major decision you will make later.  

- Fit your major dreams together.  If one of you dreams of a family and the other does not, then one of you will be miserable for a large portion of your life.

8. Forgive, forgive, forgive.  Simply put, expect disappointment and pain as you share life together.  It is inevitable.  You must commit your own heart to trying again tomorrow.

9. Do not expect to find your perfect mate.  There is no such thing.  There is only the person who you choose to love each day and chooses to love you back each day.  Both of you will continue to change and grow.  It is impossible to expect a perfect match for all that you are today and might be tomorrow.

10.  Those who keep showing up win.  This is not only for romantic relationships, but all of life.  Those who keep contributing themselves will bring influence.  

 

Cliff-notes Christianity

All too often I have had conversations with Christians that carry a lingering since of unfulfilled failure.  They pictured themselves as a quarterback in the big game and found themselves sitting on the bench, or worse, in the stands.  The American church, particularly revival-oriented churches, has indoctrinated their members, with a particular focus on youth, that a life of faith equates to a life of supernatural outcomes and visible, immediate answers to prayer.  Those that live by faith are followed by a stream of miracles and tidy answered prayers.  Youth are indoctrinated that if they prayed enough and witnessed effectively, their whole school would “come to God”.  The world would be changed, if only God would act.

I have known too many that embraced this expectation for their life and have live haunted by a sense of unfulfilled destiny and a deep discontentment toward a non-responsive God.

Now my take on scripture is that it is clear that God can break the pattern of the world and perform miracles, and in many circumstances a person of faith served as a catalyst for the miracle.  However, I think reading scripture as a manual for what normal life should be tends to leave someone discontented with anything that appears ordinary.  Plus, we all tend to read the scripture like it is unabridged when functionally we are getting the cliff notes version.  We seem to forget that we are seeing a highlights reel, and not a live feed.  There are very few biblical characters that we get to see over decades, and the few that we do, like Moses, David, and Solomon, do not look so great over time.  Those that we see more of have epic mistakes in their lives or decades of inactivity.

My point here is that we overly emphasize the miraculous, to the expense of valuing the simple.  Even Jesus spent decades working with his hands in a small rural community.  He appeared so normal within his community that his neighbors outright rejected the idea that he might be a great teacher, miracle worker, and especially messiah later.  Why would the son of God waste his life on the mundane when He could have been performing miracles for an additional 30 years?

In his first letter to the Thessalonians, Paul recommended, “make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you,  so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.”  This stands in stark contrast to what many have come to expect as a life of faith.

If I could challenge anything, it would be the disdain that so many Christians have for the “ordinary”.  We assume that because we are crying out for more, that we are crying out for God (under the assumption that only the supernatural qualifies as “of God”).  If we believe that life was created by God, then we have to also accept that God has embedded Himself in all that was created, much like it impossible for an artist to hide his/her perspective and skill in art.  Creation itself is a reflection of intentionality, character, and love.  It looks forward as it leaves something for others to experience.  To maintain a perspective that only that which breaks the boundaries of creation is God is to reject God himself.  It is comparable to seeing an artist’s signature and denying them the recognition of their work (i.e. I’ve seen this before, so it doesn’t count).  Rejection of a simple life (i.e. a life working with what He provided for us) is rejecting God.

What we are compelled to do, instead of building a false sense of expectation for more, is to train our souls to perceive all that is good and God in our midst.  Panentheism  (God in all things) would compel us to hunt to find God in all things.  He is present to be found and appreciated.  He is always present to redeem.  Training our hearts to be satisfied with how God is currently revealed in our life is part of a life of faith.  It is critical to releasing inordinate expectations that God must always show Himself supernaturally to be worthy of our love and faith.

The pitfall of a panentheistic view, is the attribution of all that is negative, destructive, and dying to God.  To say that all that is bad is directly performed, controlled, or allowed by God would be similar to holding Microsoft liable for every hateful email that has been sent by Outlook.  God has created a world that allows and invites creativity and response.  The ability to create is a reflection of the creator, but it does not mean that all that we create reflects the creator’s perspective.    I feel like there needs to be a disclaimer on life, “The views expressed by  _______ are not necessarily the views of the Creator.”

We are compelled to find peace in our life by developing a faith that is not thrown by pleasure or pain.  We are invited to grow our ability to perceive God however He is displayed and discern where His love is displayed around us.  Our tendency is to equate all that is pleasurable, supernatural, or financially good for our lives as God.  God is fundamentally good and loving, but even as His nature is revealed, we are invited to surrender our expectation to dictate what good and loving would mean in our own life. 

If anything history has shown us time and time again that when God breaks from the norm and does something supernatural or “extra good”, we make it about us.  We claim it as a direct endorsement for our belief system, racial preference, way of life, political affiliation,  sexual behavior, or financial management.  A never ending line of destructive abuses exists where man has claimed preferential status because of God’s endorsement.  We simply do not handle power well, ever. 

If someone wanted to truly prepare themselves to be a catalyst for God, the biblical pattern seems to indicate that you should prepare yourselves for decades of silence, the possibility of persecution, publication of your personal failures, and the likelihood that you will give your life to a faith that may never show any visible rewards during your life (Hebrews 11:39-40).  And should you find yourself in the situation of something supernatural happening in your midst, you will likely make the same kind of mistakes we see in scripture. 

It is because of this risk and propensity to abuse power for our own gain, that we must train our hearts to be content in all situations.  Our identity is not tied to outcomes.  Our identity is stable because it is founded on an unshakeable love and an unbeatable redemption.  Our surrender of expectations for the next miracle is not a loss of faith, but a sign of growth.  God can always act outside of the way creation works.  Scripture is absolutely clear on that.  However, if we are to ever respond freely to an answer to prayer, we have to surrender our expectation that we be validated by the outcome.  A life of faith is a life of surrender to whatever we are given and a response of gratitude to who God is despite the outcome.

You are not disenfranchised.  You are not abandoned by God.  Rather you trained your own heart to be discontent.  You will only find peace and freedom to live a life of faith when you are willing to relinquish your demand for God to validate His love for you by the outcomes of your life.